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Sweet & Sorrow

by Catherine Ruth

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1.
I’ve built a collection of memories to share How else to explain someone who’s no longer there And hand-me-down memories are stitches in time If I tell enough stories maybe he’ll be alive to you The weight of his voice when he showed you he cared The way that he stressed about airports and cars When you had good news he’s the first one you’d call The swell of his laughter, the heights he would throw you But perhaps if I love you the best I know how Drop all and come running the second you’re lost In that moment is where you might finally meet The pieces of him living on inside of me
2.
Sun and the moon and the falling rain Hang over us, over our heads We’re standing in the balance and the whole world’s still Will you take this hand? I will I will //// Carrying morning in a coffee cup Nothing is so sacred as the thing that wakes Wake me up (Love, the day is here) Make me rise (I set the coffee the night before) Like the sun (Would you like a slice of toast?) Like sourdough I grow up and over the edge (How did you sleep? What did you dream about?) Of the bowl (If you get out of bed we can just sit together) Of the bed (Open the blinds) Make me whole (Let the sun) Feed me bread (Shine on in) Give me eyes wide to wonder Feet to wander in Carrying something so sacred The thing that wakes me up Morning in a coffee cup So wake with me, darling Before our alarms I know that you’re tired That’s half of the charm We’ll sit, sip, sigh, though your eyes are still closed And I’ll feel the sunrise enough for us both I hope that you know, baby Hope that you know That there’s more to my brewing than coffee to go It’s a promise, a prayer, a hopeful hue That I might get to spend every morning with you With morning in a coffee cup
3.
January/June 03:20
Honey I know that when you walk in the door You don’t know what you will find Will I be the one you married or will I be Just a ball on the floor? And you get it, I know I don’t change with the weather like you do And for me it’s just A January kind of June There’s a colour, a light, a shade of the night That seeps down into my soil Where there was once a field of gold Everything’s coming up blue And you get it, I know I don’t change with the weather like you do And for me it’s just A January kind of June
4.
Near 03:59
This hunger it holds more than I can say It lunges and lingers and drinks up the day And waits eagerly for the first breath of Spring That heavenly, heavenly thing And quench now the thirst that’s been haunting my arms To carry your weight and cradle your warmth Oh hasten the day when there’s nothing to fear So heavenly heavenly heavenly Near Shake hands with the past, bid old things adieu Summer’s coming at last with the promise of you We’ll bottle your sunshine, bottle your breeze And bask in the music you Music you bring If sound were a touch from afar I’d never stop singing to you I’d never stop singing to you
5.
The moon was an eyelash on the cheek of the night I was holding you tight, my love Carry your worry in the crook of my arm And sing until you’re asleep I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought of this moment for years Though I’m tired, you’re tired, and we’re tired I wouldn’t trade it for anything Anything The moon was an eyelash on the cheek of the night You were shining as bright, my love Oh night be forgiving give us over to sleep At least before morning comes I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought of this moment for years Though I’m tired, you’re tired, and we’re tired I wouldn’t trade it for anything Anything This was always old Like birds will find their way home Holding you warm and close Don’t think I’ll ever let go Dreaming in the dawn As darkness turns into day The morning echoing Some moments are meant to be
6.
The Risk 03:58
Younger then, we were driving through Open to hoping you might come true October was setting and the glow was gold and blue There it was The risk of you Joni’s bittersweet “Both Sides Now” Wonder which of the stories we’ll be playing out The happy ending, or the one we don’t talk about Feels dangerous to worry out loud Ooos Winds of change tear across the roof above us Another October, nothing’s like it was Branches toss in time to our dear panicking chimes While safe below I’m clinging on to keep you close As if the comfort of holding you is the only kind I’ve ever known Here it is: the risk that one day you’ll be gone Been waiting for the worry to end But it goes on and on and on and on and on
7.
I have met the wailing wind Tumbling over and haunting my skin Knotting my hair and carrying dust Hear her mourn for us She lifts my father, carries him home Whispering courage, of which I have none Blustery clinging to hillside and stone Naming my losses one by one The comfort of warmth Only after the chill Fight if I must, but I’ll have you know I’d rather be still Curled in a pocket Small as a pea Where I cannot be moved by a gust, or breeze Or the last breath he breathed But how it does reach me Just see how I bleed And yet it is well, and all shall be well And all manner of thing shall be well … Sweet and sorrow on the windy brae Hallelujah, dust to dust we pray Fly me home to where the oceans roar One day we’ll meet on God’s golden shore It is well With my soul It is well It is well, it is well with my soul

about

Catherine Ruth’s debut album, Sweet & Sorrow, is a personal reflection of her journey of finding joy in the aftermath of loss. Each song unfolds as vignettes of longing for someone to be near. The loss of her father in 2012 changed the shape of how she sees the world and holds those dear to her. “Everything is bittersweet. But still sweet. You let the ache wash over you and somehow find that there is still goodness and beauty and a reason to hope.”

These recordings were all made possible by the Common Room Recording Grant in partnership with Civl Radio.

credits

released May 7, 2021

all songs written and performed by Catherine Ruth Moyer
produced/mixed/mastered by Jonathan Anderson at Protection Island

Catherine Ruth - vocals, guitar
Daniel Moyer - lyrics on "Near", vocals, electric guitar, drums, percussion
Jonathan Anderson - banjo, upright bass, electric bass, guitar, vocals, vibraphone, keys, percussion, organ, pedal steel guitar

Additional vocals: Marlene Affleck, Melissa Affleck, Jonathan Affleck, Michelle Affleck

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Catherine Ruth Vancouver, British Columbia

On the soggy west coast of Canada, singer-songwriter, Catherine Ruth, lives and sings and goes outside occasionally. With a foundation of melody-driven folk music, she writes when she needs to find her way out of the ache. “Her music captures loss and love and hope and fear in ways that are at once familiar and hopeful, a truly magical meeting of content and form.” ... more

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